|snipesgirl||10:35 am - Cha.....cha...cha..Changes!!!|
I strayed of my diet a little this weekend but I do not feel guilty. NOPE...because I know that feeling badly about it cannot change it and will most likely make me cheat again. So I cheated on my diet and I am okay with it, and will just work harder to stop next time. I put up some insperatinal posters on my fridge that I drew. One is of a heart and asks if what I am about to grab is okay for it. ( beacuse i am afraid of having a heart attack since that is how most of my family goes out), and then a poster for GOT WATER? Since I am only drinking water and non calorie, sodium, caffiene drinks. Maybe that will help me think better when I have major cravings, but then again maybe not. Just gotta keep going for it. I know I veiw food as somehting other than food. It is my comfort, my worst enemy and my vice. Other people drink, or do druge, I over eat. It is an addiction just the same. I know that. I know it is not just going to be something I get over in a day, but I am working on it and I am proud of what I have done so far.
I have been keeping up with my excercise though!!! I did my Bowflex on schedule and my cardio. I am going to add an afternoon jog to my list before I pick up my hubby. *sighs*...Just gonna have to put on two bras and hope for the best with that one. But i am going to do it. I need to be motivated and I know that jogging makes me sweat and is sweet for my goals.
Excercise has become something more to me than excercising. Each revolution of the wheel, or each step I take I see as changing me into a new person, I see it as changing my life. We all have things in the past we wish we could change, things that we just cannot let go. Well I visualize myself letting go and getting over my past as I excercise. Each step I take takes me further from that place, further from the guilt of the past, further from the girl I was then, and closer to the girl I always wanted to be, both physically, mentally and spiritually. It is cleansing to my body and my mind to excercise. Literally I am pedling away, running from and walking away from destructive behaviors and embracing a new way of life, a new way to see myself, a new way to see others. I am addicted to the feeling that I am getting. I feel so happy after a nice sweaty work out. I feel like slowly I am chaning and evolving and I cannot wait for another small change to occur in me during my next workout. I have the need to prove to myself that I am different now, that I am achieving my goals and being good to me for once. And by being good to me I am good for others. *smiles*
Here is to today's goals, and tomorrow success. *smiles* Keep going, keep trying, keep with it.
good luck everyone
Current Mood: determined
Current Music: beastie boys- triple trouble