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May 7th, 2007

11:53 am - proposal
This maybe a cheesy idea but I'm going to try it anyway....

I propose to the community to do a group walk for 20minutes Wednesday May 9th. May 9th whereever you are step outside sometime during the day to walk, walk in one direction for 10min and then back to your starting point...then on May 10th write in your journal about what you saw....Maybe a funny little dog or maybe what park you went to....maybe a convienent store you stopped to get water....if you saw a neighbor...you could even take a camera along to show the community or to keep a photo journal of your walk....

maybe just maybe it could be a weekly experiment.

Does this sound dumb? Would anyone be interested?

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April 28th, 2006

01:25 pm
Yesterday -
B - Special K with fat free milk
S - Banana
L - Salad, two teaspons Itialian, fat free milk.
S - About six cookies, half a cup of soda, a cup & a half of whole milk.
D - Spaghetti
S - Special K with whole milk

I walked for about an hour and a half.

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April 25th, 2006

11:10 pm
I feel so stressed.
I've been exhausted the last couple of days.
I have no willpower. I don't know how I expect to lose weight.

B - Apple, Special K with 1% milk.
S - Apple.
L - Salad, two tablespoons Itialian, 1% milk.
S - One cup Special K, whole milk, Cadbury Egg.
I took a nap, woke up, & binged.
D - Two cups of spaghetti with sauce, two teaspons of shredded cheese on top.
S - Two cups of Special K, whole milk.

No exercising. No excuses, either.

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April 24th, 2006

10:16 pm

I'm new here, and actually, with this whole weight loss thing.

Here's the stats.

Name: Mary
Age: 16
Height: 5'8
Highest Weight: 190
Lowest Weight: 140
Current Weight: 190
Short Term Goal: 170
Desired Weight: 140

Extra InfoCollapse )

Today I Ate
Breakfast - 3/4 a cup of Special K, with 1% milk, and about half a cup of concentrated apple juice.
Snack - Cup O' Noodles.
- A salad (lettuce, onion, a sprinkling of chedder cheese) with two
teaspons of Itialian dressing, 1% milk, & an apple.
Dinner - Five chocolate chip pancakes bigger than my palm (I know. I messed up.), cup of whole milk.
Snack - Apple, cup of whole milk.

So...is that okay besides the dinner screw up?

I joined another community, but it's pretty crowded, & I found this, a small community that actually updates, & thought maybe you'd be more help to me...support wise, and such.

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March 24th, 2005

04:13 am
So today started off well until my partner decides to bring home Reese's Peanut butter eggs!! It was a 6 pack and we both ate 3 and watched the l word like lazy bums. So much for doing better today! I was feeling really hungry today. Is it possible that it's because I ate all that junk food? I had 2 tuna sandwiches (on wheat bread w. lite mayo, strawberries, whole wheat organic pasta, rice pudding, and a boca burger! Thats probably more calories then I've eaten in the past 3 days! It's amazing to see how much you eat when you write it all down! The Peanut Butter eggs were 10gms of fat a piece! When I go shopping I try not to bring that kind of food into the house, but when someone offers it to me, I just can't resist. I need will power stat!
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed

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March 23rd, 2005

04:14 am
Today I did pretty well eating wise. I just went shopping tonight, so my meals may sound a bit redundant. In the morning I had a bowl of organic whole wheat pasta with some of my mom's home made sauce. For dinner I had the same thing (because I had left overs), and when I got home from Wegman's I had a fudgesicle (which is only 60 cals and 1 gram of fat and sooo good for my chocolate cravings) and a cup of low fat rice pudding. When I was at the store I bought a whole bunch of fresh fruits and veggies, along with some low fat/low cal snacks when I'm craving junk food. I still didn't exercise today, but I am determined to get going with that!
Current Mood: awakeawake

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March 17th, 2005

02:01 am - New here
I have made this journal specifically to focus on losing weight and talking about my daily struggles. When I went on medication about 5 years ago I gained about 80lbs which I have never been able to get off. I was already a thick girl back then, but I am tall and broad so it wasn't so bad. Now I can barely stand to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look horrible and want to look and feel healthy! I have tried so many times to lose weight, but I have never stuck to it. I want to lose the weight before I start getting health problems, and everyone knows, the older you get, the harder it is to lose. I am 22 now, and I want to enjoy being young. I don't want to have to worry about not fitting onto a ride at an amusement park, or not being able to keep up with my friends when we do something active. I am addicted to food, it makes me feel better. But when I look at my life in the big picture, I know that I would be so much happier if I was thin and healthy. Reaching my goal weight doesn't seem possible to me, so I am definitely looking for some inspiration. I know it can be done; I just need to get the will power and the drive to do it.
Current Mood: scaredscared

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August 9th, 2004

10:35 am - Cha.....cha...cha..Changes!!!


                  I strayed of my diet a little this weekend but I do not feel guilty. NOPE...because I know that feeling badly about it cannot change it and will most likely make me cheat again.  So I cheated on my diet and I am okay with it, and will just work harder to stop next time. I put up some insperatinal posters on my fridge that I drew.  One is of a heart and asks if what I am about to grab is okay for it.  ( beacuse i am afraid of having a heart attack since that is how most of my family goes out), and then a poster for GOT WATER? Since I am only drinking water and non calorie, sodium, caffiene drinks.  Maybe that will help me think better when I have major cravings, but then again maybe not.  Just gotta keep going for it.  I know I veiw food as somehting other than food.  It is my comfort, my worst enemy and my vice. Other people drink, or do druge, I over eat.  It is an addiction just the same.  I know that.  I know it is not just going to be something I get over in a day, but I am working on it and I am proud of what I have done so far.

                 I have been keeping up with my excercise though!!!  I did my Bowflex on schedule and my cardio. I am going to add an afternoon jog to my list before I pick up my hubby.  *sighs*...Just gonna have to  put on two bras and hope for the best with that one.  But i am going to do it.  I need to be motivated and I know that jogging makes me sweat and is sweet for my goals.  

             Excercise has become something more to me than excercising. Each revolution of the wheel, or each step I take I see as changing me into a new person, I see it as changing my life.  We all have things in the past we wish we could change, things that we just cannot let go.  Well I visualize myself letting go and getting over my past as I excercise.  Each step I take takes me further from that place, further from the guilt of the past, further from the girl I was then, and closer to the girl I always wanted to be, both physically, mentally and spiritually.  It is cleansing to my body and my mind to excercise.  Literally I am pedling away, running from and walking away from destructive behaviors and embracing a new way of life, a new way to see myself, a new way to see others.  I am addicted to the feeling that I am getting. I feel so happy after a nice sweaty work out.  I feel like slowly I am chaning and evolving and I cannot wait for another small change to occur in me during my next workout.  I have the need to prove to myself that I am different now, that I am achieving my goals and being good to me for once.  And by being good to me I am good for others. *smiles*

             Here is to today's goals, and tomorrow success.  *smiles* Keep going, keep trying, keep with it.
good luck everyone

Current Mood: determineddetermined
Current Music: beastie boys- triple trouble

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August 5th, 2004

07:18 pm - Kick ass day!!

Today was just an awesome day. I woke up and my muscles were sore. That put an immediate smile on my face because a little muscle soreness means I am doing something right! *grins*  I got dressed and headed to the gym. I drop my hubby off at base at 7 30 then head to the base gym.  I did my work on the ellyptical and did a nice cross training session, making sure to really monitor my heart rate so that it stayed inthe cardio realm and did not drop into or above the range. I then went on the bike for 15 minutes and got my legs good and tired. I felt energized!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I did my bowflex routine and gave myself a little more weight. Five pounds more for each arm this time, and it felt alright.  I will stay at this weight for at least a month.

   I left and went home and checked my mail. My hubby got let out early so I went to pick him up and we had a nice aftenoon together. He has noticed that my mnood swings have gotten better since I have been working out.  I was so happy and energized today. Even though I know I do not look any better, I FEEL better and that is oh so more important. My moods are calm, my heart is calm, and I feel ready for anything. I EVEN WENT Swimming at the pool today and did not care about it...*grins*.. Working out is so good for keeping me happy. I am addicted.

Food for today

Whey protien shake for breaky.

small whole wheat tortilla with a slice of cheeze melted for snack

Slice of cold pizza for lunch

California rolls for dinner ( mmm sushi)

Night snack in a2 hours...Handfull of frozen grapes or 2-3 garlicky pickles.

I am not craving anything right now...let me see how i hold up later tonight.

I am just really excited about it this time. I have ried dieting and excercise so many times and failed. On for two weeks, off for a month...I just want it more now. I cannot explain it. I just want to be god to my body.  I feel like I have been self destructive enough and I deserve to let myself live up to my full potential.  I guess I just feel worth it at the moment and I hope that feeling lasts, because when it leaes I tend to just hide away.

Hope everyone else had a productive excercise and diet day!!!

Current Mood: energeticenergetic
Current Music: BNL- for you

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August 4th, 2004

01:32 pm - I lied... I checked the scale!!! gasp
I went to the gym to do some cardio this morning. I used the bikes and the ellyptical for 45 minutes. Felt good, did not over due it. I want to jog but I have some issues with that.
it hurts...and I do not mean I cannot breathe but it hurts my breasts to jog...even with two bras. Not sure if anyone else has this problem but I do. I am a little bigger than a DD so jogging is a little annoying for me right now. I need to lose some weight in my chest. THat is why I am doing the weight lifting so that hopefully that will help build some muscle in my chest that can eat away excess cleavege.*laughs*
Anyway when I left I was tempted and I had to check the scale...177. Well that is a start. I was 182 three weeks ago. So five pounds. Not to much to be excited about, BUT every little bit helps. I am going to check the scale once every 2 weeks so that I do not get discouraged.
Binged last night on pickles. I do not feel to badly about that. I think I got like maybe 30 calories from doing that. Better then eating the cake that I soooo desperatly wanted.

I am very excited that people posted in the community. I just want to thank them for opening up and trying it out. It is sooo reassuring for me to know there are peopel out there struggling like me, that need motivation and some help. I know I do. It is sometimes difficult to keep my self-esteem when we live in a society that seems to idolize physical perfection. And physical perfection now is thin, sleek bodies. It is sometimes hard to be okay with myself and the way I look. I get down on myself sometimes and I have realized it does not help it only makes me want to eat more, or not work out. Then I berate myself for letting myself get to myself.

I used to be a lot more confident. I used to do a lot more things. I have used my weight as an excuse for way tooo long!!! As an excuse for not going out. As an excuse for not going swimming at the pool because I felt so very unnatractive. Confidence should not rely on my weight and I am pushing myself past my comfort zones.
Each week I am going to do an activity that makes me uncomfortable becasue of my weight just to get me over myself. If anyone else want to join me in trying this let me know your stories and how it goes.

I know I sound childish, but I know other people have let their weight get in the way of things they like to do

This weeks goal. I will go swimming at the pool even if other people are there.

Goals for tomorrow:
Bowflex full body training
30-45 minutes of cardio
shop for healthy snacks

Eveyone give me a couple healthy snacks they like for suggestions please?
Current Mood: thirstythirsty
Current Music: Silence...

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